I’ve been so busy with my broom this past week that I didn’t have much time to prepare this posting, so I’m going to borrow some humor from other writers. I wasn’t sweeping floors in Mitchell cabin, by the way, but cutting Scotch broom at the bottom of our driveway.

We’ll start with two competing looks at what Noah’s ark was like.

The New Yorker, 1979

The New Yorker, 1988

The New Yorker, 1988

Back in 1988, holes in the earth’s ozone layer were constantly in the news because they allow UV radiation levels to rise at the earth’s surface, increasing the amount of skin cancers, eye cataracts, and immune-deficiency disorders.

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Some humor from Rodney ‘I don’t get no respect’ Dangerfield (1922-2004)”:

• “My wife met me at the door in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately she was just coming home.”

• “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. She then told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

• “I went to a fight the other day, and a hockey game broke out.”

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The New Yorker, 2004. Frustrating the bad guys in this modern era.

The New Yorker, 1979 — Said the rich guy.

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Comedian Red Skelton (1913-97)

• Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” — Red Skelton

• “I don’t need glasses, but I’ve reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.” — Red Skelton

• “I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.” — Red Skelton

• “I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.” — Red Skelton

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The New Yorker, 1977

The New Yorker, 2004

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Comedian Bennett Cerf (1898-1971). He  was best known to me as a panelist on the popular TV program What’s My Line? when I was a boy 

• “The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.” — Bennett Cerf

• “Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blonde on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.”     — Bennett Cerf

• “Good manners: the noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” — Bennett Cerf                            

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Bob Hope (1903-2003)

• “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope

• “People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.” — Bob Hope

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Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

• “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” — Groucho Marx

• “A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.” — Groucho Marx

• “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them . . . well, I have others.” — Groucho Marx