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Like others, I have a love-hate relationship with the Internet, and one thing I love about it is email, which allows friends to forward some of the more intriguing humor they stumble upon. This week I’m posting a selection of some of the stuff that’s been sent along.

We’ll start with awkwardly worded headlines.

The San Francisco Examiner (where I was once a reporter).

The News & Observer of Raleigh, NC.


Some of the humor I receive is, of course, in the form of cartoons.


Naturally much of the humor is slightly risqué.

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.” — Frank Sinatra

“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.” — George Burns

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch” — Jack Nicolson

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental where, of course, men are just grateful.” — Robert De Niro

“You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.” — Bob Hope

“It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.” — Joan Rivers

“Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful, and natural experiences money can buy.” — Steve Martin


A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said warily. “How do you make babies?” To which the girl replied. “It’s easy. You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es.'”

One day a firetruck zoomed past with a Dalmatian sitting on the front seat, which prompted three children to discuss the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” offered one child. “No, he’s just there for good luck,” said another. The third child then brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”